I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
