Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
