ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
