i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
