check it out our google latitudes are spooning
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
