guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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