It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
