Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
