can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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