So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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