My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
