my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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