don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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