I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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