what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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