mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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