I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
