I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
