Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
