Jerry, you need to find god
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she smelled like a LAN party
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
