he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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