the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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