I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
