so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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