yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
