And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
did you just send me my own nude
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Holy shit dude........stairs
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
