Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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