We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
