I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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