If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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