So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
