She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
