The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
