I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
