Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize