that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
