Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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