I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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