a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize