I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so explain again why im purple
no
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
