I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
