i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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