Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The struggles of a small town man whore
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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