i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
