That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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