id be glad to
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
