he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
