I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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