just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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