Say something about gay babies.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
