You work out of a Hotel?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
