I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize