Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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