Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
