I hate all girls vehemently.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
