It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
All I want is dick and wine.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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