ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize